21 Women Who Got Labelled ‘Crazy Ex-Girlfriends’ Tell Their Side Of The Story

camy93 / www.twenty20.com/photos/102f1210-c1cf-47ef-a408-5f27a75a09cd1. Boyfriend Takes Everything, Blames Her When She’s Had Enough We got engaged and decided to buy a house. I put up the whole down payment, he had to pay off some debt. The mortgage was to come out of a joint account I set up but he never went to the bank to sign adding his name, so it was just me. He promised to give me half the mortgage payment every two weeks. He didn’t. I was so stressed for money and when I brought it up he would get mad, explain how he pays for other things (bills split 70/30 me paying more). He would constantly bring up how I put fifteen pounds on how I wasn’t as fun as I used to be. I was constantly stressed with money, so our sex life dropped. He was a supposed handy man, and we undertook a bathroom renovation. I was the one who smashed the tile, cut and laid the tile, and fixed the drywall after watching YouTube videos while he sat on the couch drinking +15 beers a day. He made 15g more than I did a year. He had only given me 300 dollars for the mortgage we were supposed to split. He covered our monthly bills, which were 300 a month, while I paid 2g for the mortgage and I covered our grocery bill. I’m 5’3″ and 110lbs while he was 6’4″ and 220lbs. After two years (I know…) I was up late at night doing our taxes and his phone buzzed. I checked it because I thought maybe it was a buddy looking for a ride after drinking and saw it was a girl asking him if he wanted to meet up sometime. There was no previous conversation with them but I saw multiple long phone calls with her while at work. I snapped. I had done so much and lost so much for him to start talking other girls?? I carried him financially and stood by him as he destroyed relationships with family members and friends where he was wrong. I kicked him out. I calmly packed his stuff, woke him up and told him to leave. He told everyone I had gained weight, I was the worst sex ever, I was crazy and always checking his phone, and used him for his money. I was devastated. On top of this, the day we broke up he slept with another girl which just crushed me. I sent way more angry texts than I am proud of and way too many phone calls. I cringe when I think about it. But I’m happy to say 6 months later, all mutual friends have ditched him and even just his friends, my acquaintances, have abandoned him. I also lost those fifteen pounds, still have a house while he lives with his parents, and got a huge promotion so I make twice as much as him. I’m a lot happier but there was a crazy, rough few months there. Sometimes you get pushed to the edge? After all is said and done, I’m still happy it turned out this way. I learned more than I would have if I didn’t. I didn’t know I was capable of renovating a bathroom but I did and I’m very proud of that. 2. “I Hate Myself For This” Ok, here goes. I’m really nervous writing this because I was super crazy and I hate myself for it. Years ago, I met a guy. It was an instant attraction (for me) and for a time, him too. Things were pretty intense and then for some inexplicable reason he faded on me. This was all over the course of three years. It literally drove me crazy when he faded on me. I couldn’t understand why. I was so invested emotionally, just being near him made my body react. Everything just felt right when I was around him. So when it turned out he wasn’t feeling the same, I couldn’t understand it. I was hurt, so, so hurt, and angry and not knowing why sent me into a really weird headspace. I became obsessed. I never blew up his phone or anything like that. Instead, I’d try to time things and be places I knew he’d be. When I heard from a mutual friend about an ex gf of his, I got really jealous and paranoid. Was he seeing her again? WHy? Why her not me? What was wrong with me? So I became obsessed with her too and this is where things got weird. I began doing drive bys on both their houses. If I saw his car at her house I’d drive around and around until he’d leave. I’d check to see when he was last logged on to facebook (seriously, that last online timestamp feature is a full stalker tool), I’d try to work out if they were having sex by the amount of times he logged on. Before long though, instead of driving by, I began wearing a disguise and walking by her house. I never went to his, just hers when he was there. The pain I’d feel in my chest when I saw his car there was unbearable. I HAD to know what they were doing. Why her not me? I escalated to crawling along in bushes outside her house in my ridiculous disguise to try and hear what they were talking about. I heard them having sex a few times. It was sick and creepy and I really fucking hate that I know any of that. My behaviour got even worse and I did a few other things I won’t write here. Eventually, I began lurking around outside his house. Long story short, he came right out and confronted me one night, while in “disguise”. He said my name, but instead of seeming angry or weirded out, he just laughed. I stopped all my silly antics after that, but fuck, why did I do it? I don’t know myself. The worst part was that during all these lonely sad nights I spent doing this, I knew it was crazy and weird. But I still did it. During the time I was in treatment for suicide attempts and BPD but I still carried on like a weirdo. I never told my therapists about him or her or what I was doing. I wish I had the excuse that I was super crazy and was hearing voices or blacking out, but I made a choice. I hated doing it so much, but I still did and I’m a seemingly normal, well educated person. It’s been a few years now, and thinking about it now… it’s like it was someone else. Why did I do that? Will I do it again? Why did I get weird about him and no one else? I don’t know… 3. “She’s So Materialistic” I had a terrible birthday that year. My moms had a positive biopsy, the cancer had spread, and at that it looked super high risk. There was drama at work, where I had to perform layoffs on some long term employees. I texted him about it. He texted me back to make sure I was going to be home that night, and that he was then at my apartment. I thought maybe he was going to surprise me with dinner or something. I come home and he had been watching my tv (his cable was off) and left fast food wrappers all over my couch. I was miserable and planned to take a bath and get drunk. Next thing you know, his son is at the door. My ex had dropped him off, expecting me to babysit overnight while he went to Hooters with friends. He refused to answer his phone. When he did, he said he didn’t see the big deal, as I said I would be home. His version? I broke up with him because he didn’t get me a birthday present, and I was too materialistic. Actually, everything he accused me of doing was pretty twisted. He constantly was telling his son to disregard anything I said, that I wasn’t his mother. Yet he expected me to babysit even though the son was then uncontrollable. Earlier in the relationship, the son was playing with a super ball and was popping it in and out of his mouth. I told him it was dangerous. My ex was in the other room, didn’t know what his kid was doing and said not to listen to me. The kid started showing off more and aspirated the ball. My ex freaked out was trying to fish it out with his fingers but it was down the kids throat pretty far and the kid wasn’t breathing at all. I flipped the son over and did the kiddie Heimlich maneuver, ball popped right out and the son started breathing again. But I had bruised the kid in the process of doing the maneuver. My ex took pictures and whenever we fought he threatened to call the police for assault charges. Afterwards, he would tell the kid that I would hurt him again and how ” mean” I was. He still expected me to watch his son regularly though. 4. Come Get Your Shit The fucker had about 1000.00 worth of my Blu Rays in his place, and I’ll be damned if I wasn’t going to blow up his phone numerous times a day until he fucking answered and gave them back to me. But to everyone who listened to him first (his “bros”) I was “his crazy ex who wouldn’t stop calling him hurhur bitches are crazy eh?” 5. Crazy For Being Understandably Upset I was meeting his friends for the first time. We all went out and then came back to his house for drinks. I’m talking to his friends getting to know them and be social. He’s upstairs and talking to another friend. Girl walks in and goes up stairs I think nothing of it until his friend comes down and I’m being directed elsewhere. I realize they’re trying to distract me and of course since I’d been drinking everything was a lot bigger of a deal. I throw a fit and go and knock at the LOCKED door and might’ve start screaming because what else was I supposed to do when he guy your seeing is in a locked room with a pretty girl? I’m humiliated, can’t be talked down and am alone cause they’re all his friends. Screaming, crying and the like. So that’s how I became the crazy one. 6. Cheater Cheats, Accuses Her Of Stalking For me I was with a guy for 4 years. The last 6 months of it I had no idea he was cheating on me. I find out. I get upset and I ask him to come over to talk it over. Mind you I was really rational about the situation. I felt sad not only that he cheated on me, but that he must have felt trapped to do it in the first place. So I basically ask him why after all this time he couldn’t just tell me that he wasn’t interested in me anymore. He responded “I just didn’t want to hurt you”. Well it was a nice stab in my heart, but ok. A few days later I check on my Facebook and I have all these messages from people that I am not necessarily friends with, I just knew them because they were friends with my ex. Well they’re messages weren’t kind to me and even people for some reason were making “notes” and passing them along like those chain letters or fill in the blanks. So basically these “notes” we’re poorly edited/photoshopped (might as well been paint) screen shots of convos where people twisted my words making it look like I was the bad guy. Basically I ignored these things, I was upset, but more embarrassed because honestly I found that my ex had been actually telling people these things were true. I asked him to kindly stop. But he kept insisting that he was stating facts. I kept telling him that those things weren’t true. Soon after it died down and people stopped talking, he decided to come up with new things. Now he was telling people that I begged for money and made him buy everything because I am selfish. People bought it lol. Although I was the one who had a job… He never worked lol. So I asked him again kindly not to say things like that and he should be over me and focus on his new relationship. Well it didn’t stop. I got threatening messages from his gf about harassing him and begging him to stop with my “lies” and she told me some other stuff. Finally I had enough. After all the harassment, I ran into him at the mall where he greeted me with a smile and gestured to give me a hug like we’re friends. I told him that it’s not appropriate and really I just don’t want to talk to him anymore. His gf was meeting up with him and she stopped by as I was walking away from him and she started screaming at me in the middle of the mall. I kept trying to explain I had no intentions of meeting him there. All the while she’s screaming calling me “crazy” he’s recording it all. I finally start to walk away (confrontation isn’t my thing). She grabs my hair and pulls me to the ground and keeps telling me to quit obsessing over her bf. I struggle to get away and finally a security guy shows up and she explains how I am causing commotion and apparently “threw punches” at her. He kicks me out. Hours later I go on fb and see I have 75 messages. And I am tagged in something. Well my ex recorded the whole fight (where I did nothing and basically get beaten up) on Facebook. People called me all kinds of scum. So I don’t go on there anymore. So much drama. All that time I was the “crazy” ex gf. And honestly I was more heartbroken that he was sad being with me than the actual break up. I wanted to file a police report. I never did. He eventually got caught having sex with a 13-year-old (he was 19 at that time). Had court, never showed and fled to Canada. 7. Caught Him Cheating But She’s The Crazy One I was called the crazy ex-girlfriend. We dated for five years so we had many friends in common. I found out he was cheating on me through sexts on his mac he left open while he was in the shower. I freaked out and I threw his stuff out of MY apartment (he was living there ‘temporarily’ until he could find a job). I wanted to be alone to figure my life out so I turned off my phone so he couldn’t contact me and took off work for a couple days. After mentally recuperating, I turn on my phone to some mutual friends calling me a bitch and I’m blocking you! etc. I find out that he had told them I threw him out of OUR apartment because he was talking to his sister and I thought he was cheating. He said I made him homeless. They believed him because I never responded to the accusations because my phone was off! So now they think I’m super jealous and I was crazy because I made him ‘homeless’ (his parents live 45 min away, he started living with them). Luckily some people believed me, but for the most part, a lot of those mutual friends took his side. This happened six months ago and I still am getting flak for it. Too bad I never took screenshots of the sexts. 8. The Sex Offender I found out that my ex was a registered sex offender (the victim was a young child), on probation, considered at high risk to reoffend, and had several court mandated restrictions and requirements. His dad and stepmother had helped him hide it from me for close to 3 years. I dumped him immediately and went no contact, but a friend of mine started dating him. She helped care for her sister’s child, who was the same age and gender as my ex’s victim. I told her and she confronted him. He denied it and said that I was a crazy jealous bitch who couldn’t handle being dumped. She accused me of slandering him and trying to ruin his life. This was before the Internet, so I showed her the court records I had copies of. She dumped him and outed him publicly. He then went on a campaign to trash me to anyone who would listen to his rants. I was crazy, a whore, cheated on him, had stds, stole from him, physically assaulted him, turned tricks to support a drug habit, you name it, I did it. I’m just glad this happened in the early 90s or he’d have put it all online and it’d have been a lot harder to put behind me. 9. He Blamed Everyone But Himself In the eyes of his family, I’m a crazy girl who caused him to lose his job with a prominent university in our state by filing a restraining order against him. Then after the restraining order was dismissed i further ruined his life by accusing him of/him being prosecuted for domestic violence, and it causing him to lose custody of his son. In reality, he threatened to murder me and my family after I broke up with him the first time, causing me to file the restraining order. Being young and dumb, I attempted to rekindle the relationship after the restraining order was dismissed. After a couple of months, he hacked into my Facebook account and posted naked photos of me, then beat the shit out of me when I confronted him about it, which is why he got domestic violence charges. Aaand he lost his son because he likes to smoke pot and blow it in his face and let him play with his bong. Not crazy, just stupid. 10. The Scammer He began stealing alcohol from our roommate (we were underage and couldn’t buy it). He’d get trashed by himself and I’d have to help him to bed. Once he reached 21, he’d just get drunk and not come home. He moved onto other things, like smoking cigarettes and weed, then onto cocaine and Adderall. I’m not against experimenting, but I was terrified because I cared about him and he took everything to extremes. He told me I wasn’t fun. I didn’t know how to party. He said my job wasn’t stressful and that he needed these things. Whenever he was too tired to go out, he’d tell his friends and family that I said he couldn’t go. I figured this was a phase, and I tried to ignore it but I’d always end up venting my frustration. I was heavily invested in college and getting a job I liked, whereas he dropped out and essentially scammed people for a living. I was so angry that he didn’t care about building a good career and getting an education. I drifted away from him because we had nothing in common. I tried to break up with him so many times and he’d threaten to kill himself and swore he’d stop drinking/doing cocaine/get a job, etc. It’s a long story but I haven’t talked to him in two years and his family firmly believes I’m fucking insane and that he’s a victim who’s still going through a youthful phase (he’s 27 now). 11. Took Care Of Him, Called ‘Crazy’ For Her Trouble He was addicted to heroin for years and THAT’S why I was blowing up his phone constantly. I never told anyone what was going on with him but if he wasn’t where he said he was he most likely had a needle in his arm. Back before he got sober he let people think that I was just obsessive when in actuality I was legitimately worried about him. Doesn’t really matter now, we don’t talk to any of those people anymore but my reputation still stands. 12. But She’s The “Jealous” One Former “Crazy” girlfriend here. Accused my boyfriend in high school of having an emotional affair with his best friend that was a girl, it made me uncomfortable when they were alone together or when he would constantly talk about her. For instance he told her how beautiful she was at prom and never commented on my dress. His guy friend, who is still a close friend of mine to this day, ended up pretty much being my date while he hung out with this chick. A lot of his guy friends told me I was just jealous and irrational. I broke up with him feeling like the crazy girlfriend. Fast forward four years and me and my guy friend were talking and he said that this ex boyfriend of mine almost had a restraining order from his former best friend that was a girl. Turns out he was in love with her for years and she led him on big time and would tease him and use him as a tool to make herself feel better when she needed a confidence boost pretty much. He ended up constantly badgering her about how much he loved her to the point of getting drunk and showing up at her house, facebook stalking her etc. and she had to completely cut him out of her life because it was freaking her out. Turns out he was the crazy one and he was cheating on me. Now if I get that feeling I just end the relationship right then and there. Not dealing with that shit again. 13. Gives Her An STD, Blames Her Met this guy over the Internet. We met, slept together a few times. Told me about an ex of his who was so unhygienic that she would not use anything on the first full day of her period, and barely changed her tampons. HE told ME that she has HPV. I went and got tested, gyno said I had four abnormal cells. I told the guy. He flipped it on me, said I must’ve been the one to give it to her (even though she had full HPV), and broke things off with me. Then called me a crazy bitch when I called to scream at him for being such an asshole. He married her. Ick. 14. Two Faced I would always ask if he wanted to watch a TV show with me, or if we could listen to certain music, or eat at a certain restaurant and he would always say, “Hey, I’m just happy to spend time with you.” Weeks or months later, he’d explode at me. “I hate that show! I can’t stand that band! Why are we eating at that restaurant again?” Everything was like this. I was pretty sick at one point in our relationship so that meant almost no sex. I tried talking to him about it. He said he understood why we weren’t having regular sex and he just wanted me to feel better. Apparently he would complain endlessly to his friends about it, but not to the one person who could actually do something about. 15. Idealism Disappointed I was young and naive. I was heads over heels in love with a guy. And in my mind letting it go wasn’t an option. In my dumb young brain I thought somehow that if I talked and bugged him enough that I would somehow figure out the way to fix it. This included a drunken night of me showing up at his door and crying for two hours asking him why. To be fair he did lead me on for a while telling me we would be together after he got though his whole I wanna be alone period. OBVIOUSLY that didn’t happen. It definitely made me grow up a lot. I realize now especially that when a man decides he’s done with the relationship it’s definitely done. So yea basically I was just a crazy idealistic girl who thought if I asked enough questions I would get an answer I would want to hear. 16. They Always Call You Crazy When They Get Caught My ex posted pictures on Facebook of a girl wearing the sweatshirt I bought him. When I called him out on it, he quickly deleted the photo and called my a psycho. He literally tried to convince me I was crazy, until I showed him the picture I took of that picture on my phone. He then said that he posted that picture because they had the same sweatshirt and it was such a big coincidence! Too bad that sweatshirt was from goodwill for a football team at a random high school all the way across the country. With the same jersey number on the back. He then tried to tell me I was a psycho jealous bitch. Until I told him to cut the shit and he admitted to cheating on me with her multiple times. This guy was another kind of stupid. 17. Old Traumas Triggered There was something in his eyes when he talked down to me that morphed him into my abusive brother. When he smiled like that while talking down to me he was all I could see. I wasn’t screaming at my boyfriend, I was screaming at my brother. 18. She Likes To Drag People Into Her “Dark World” “Crazy bitch ex” here: I went to study abroad for a full year and before i left, he started to ignore me and tell me to shut up whenever I was exposing my opinion (even in front of friends and family). After that, he would just not answering my texts or tell me i was writing for getting attention and ruining his day (I had just moved to another country). I reached my limit when he ignored me for a full week. We broke up, and I decided to cut off all contact for few days. When I unblocked him to try to become friends, he suddenly saw he had been doing wrong and I decided to give him a second chance. As soon as I told him that a creepy guy on my uni had tried to flirt with me, he said I was obviously looking for a new dick, and I had all this planned. This routine kept going until he explicitly called me a slut in a text. I blocked him everywhere and ignored his texts and calls for two weeks (he told me I was doing a ghosting thing). I made out with another guy in that time, and after he found out, he sent me a message to tell me that he was going to ruin my social life in my city for cheating on him. Soon after he told me he was going to leave me alone because he had a new girlfriend. I sent him a message asking if he was kidding. He called me ‘crazy bitch’. So, for his friends I am a bitch because I cheated on him and have a new boyfriend. I am crazy because I was harassing him for weeks in order to get back together and being extremely jealous of his new girlfriends. All of this, of course, according to him. Last thing I knew is that he’s a good guy and I was an evil bitch who made him act like an abusive asshole because I must have a mental disorder and I like to drag people into my dark world. 19. Called Crazy Cause She Didn’t Take Shit My ex spent years convincing me that I shouldn’t make a plan B–we were moving in together and getting married. I had no plan B. And “convincing” ranged from earnest, thoughtful talks to him wearing me down with constant, unstopping bitching. He hammered me because he hated my friends, he “accidentally” went through my emails, Facebook, and phone at least twice each, and used that to tell me what an awful girlfriend I was. Turns out he was fucking the girl down the hall, the same girl who he got a job at his company.The girl he threw a double birthday party for me and her. The girl he invited to our dinners and had once a week lunch beers with. So, while he’s telling me that I need to spend less time with my friends, love him and rely on him alone, and that I’m a shit girlfriend, he’s cheating on me. For years. He fucked my life and set me back years–money I could’ve saved, time with other people or working on school or jobs. He knew he was ruining my future and didn’t care. So, I texted his mom, his dad, and called his job to tell them he was fucking a coworker. Doesn’t seem like he got fired, which is too bad. I’d like him to restart at ground zero too. Our many friends in common wanted to stay neutral. My response was that we don’t have friends in common. I know they’ve all told everyone I’m a crazy, spiteful bitch, and the truth is–yup, yup I am. 100%. 20. Classic Gaslighting Labeled as the “crazy ex girlfriend” I was actually in a relationship where I was emotionally and verbally abused. He was constantly going through my phone accusing me of cheating when he was the one cheating on me with multiple women. When I found proof through looking through his phone he would slap his phone out of my hand and call me crazy, telling me these were his friends that he was talking to. Yet the things he were telling these females were things you don’t say to friends as in calling them sexy and telling to come over or telling them how he wanted to pee on them in the shower, etc. It was a relationship full of gaslighting. So glad I got out of it and found that I wasn’t the crazy one. 21. Savage After three years he broke up with me via text. I sent him bull testicles so he could see what balls actually looked like. I mean someone had to show him what he was missing.